Tributee: Cradle of Filth.

Personnel: Joe Solo (classical guitar, harp); Amy Nguyen (viola); Jessie Klein (cello); Michael Klein (double bass); Donald Chang (violin); Jordan Klein (cello); Mark A. Rodriguez (woodwinds, brass, piano, harpsichord, organ).

The folks who run Vitamin Records have been spewing out String Quartet Tributes to virtually anybody whose been on the charts in the past ten years in one way or another. Perhaps they ran out of artists, so the next logical step was to give "orchestral" tributes to metal bands -- particularly theatrical death metal bands who play a highly evolved horrorcore. They could have started with Black Sabbath in their quest to defile all that's good in rock. But nope; they picked Cradle of Filth, one of the most theatrically dynamic and musically heavy bands on the planet. And what does it sound like? Lots of electric harpsichord (synth), organ, and strings, that deliver barely recognizable versions of Cradle of Filth's best and most idiosyncratic tunes. One case in point is the magnificent "Dusk and Her Embrace," utterly ruined by Liberace-esque piano. Another is "Lord Abortion," done as a string quintet and a seemingly out of tune piano. Ugh. One has to wonder if these yobs ever even heard the source material they were attempting to copy. Horrible beyond measure. ~ Thom Jurek